A new book by Denise Cole
Finding the Way™
100 cards. 5 values. One afternoon that changes how you see everything.
Thirty years ago, a career class handed me a stack of value cards and told me to sort them —
not the ones that looked good, the ones that felt like me. I found my five that day.
It never left me. That's the whole process. No quiz. No advice.
Just you, sorting out what's already yours.
Start Here
"I'm not sure who I am outside of my job, my role, or what everyone else expects." For adults and kids alike — start the card sort or try the free app.
Get the Free Cards & App →"I'm figuring out what's next." Read the full story — how one card sort turned into a book, a process, and a way back to yourself.
Buy the Book →"I want this for my students or clients." A ready-to-use Social-Emotional Learning workshop — facilitator guides, worksheets, and the full curriculum included.
See Teacher & Counselor Resources →The Book
I did not set out to write a book. I set out to survive.
I had just lost my job. And in the quiet that followed — the kind of quiet that sits on your chest at 6am when the alarm goes off and there is nowhere to be — I found myself asking something I had never seriously asked before.
Who am I without this?
Someone pointed me toward a career class. I expected resume tips. What I got was a teacher, a table, and a stack of one hundred cards. Each card had a single word on it. A value. She told us to sort them. To pick the ones that felt like ours. Not the ones that looked good. Not the ones we thought we should have. The ones that made something in our chest say yes.
When I was done, I had five cards in my hand. And I understood myself in a way I never had before.
That is what this book gives you. Not advice. Not a personality quiz. A process — the same one that changed everything for me — for finding the five core values that are already yours. The ones that explain why some things drain you and others don't. Once you can name them, the decisions get a lot easier.
It's told as a story because that's how it actually happened to me — not as a how-to guide. It's for anyone, fifteen or fifty, who's ended up somewhere that doesn't feel like them.
The answer has been inside you all along.
"When your job aligns with your core values, it stops feeling like work. You would do it without getting paid. You wake up excited. You lose track of time. You feel like you are finally, completely, living as yourself."
— the teacher who first showed me the cards
"A lot of the kids we label as problems aren't problems at all. Nobody's ever asked them the real question: who are you?"
Free Download
The values discovery process starts with these 100 cards — one value per card. Sort them, reflect on them, and narrow them down until you find the five that feel most like you.
Download the full deck as a printable PDF — completely free. Choose the format that fits how you want to print.
Free · No sign-up required
Now Available
The values-discovery process from the book is coming to your phone. The WAY Values app guides you through a thoughtful card-sorting journey to discover the five core values that are already yours.
Free to use. Unlock premium features for $2.99 — including your personalized Values Action Plan.
Follow @WhoAreYouBook on Instagram, @whoareyoubook on TikTok, or on Facebook for updates.
Your Core Values
What's Next
The book is just the beginning. Here's what's in the works — follow along at findingyourvalues.com for updates.
A guided digital experience to discover your five core values — card-sorting, personalized profile, PDF export, social sharing, and past journey history. Now live on Android and iOS.
Live on Android & iOSA ready-to-use Social-Emotional Learning workshop for classrooms, advisory periods, and small groups — available now in 60/90-minute, 3-session, and 5-day formats. Get them on Teachers Pay Teachers.
Available NowA guided companion journal to work through alongside the book — with reflection prompts, exercises, and space to document your values journey.
PlannedGet to know Max and Wren. Translating values into a picture book series for younger kids, ages 5-7 — each book pairs two young friends with opposite strengths, and a gentle "This or That" story. There's no right Way. There's no wrong Way. AND there's room for everyone.
PlannedFor Teachers & Counselors
The one who can't sit still. The one who pushes back on everything. The one who gets labeled a problem before anyone asks why.
Who Are You? Finding the Way includes a Facilitator Guide and a full Counselor's Toolkit with seven techniques — all written for you, inside the book. The full SEL curriculum series — 60/90-Minute Workshop, 3-Session Format, 5-Day Classroom Curriculum, and the standalone Counselor's Toolkit — is now available as ready-to-use Social-Emotional Learning resources.
60/90-Minute Workshop
A single-session values discovery workshop — ready to run with any group, no repeat contact needed.
3-Session Format
Spreads the process across three sessions over a week or two — built for advisory, SEL blocks, or small groups.
5-Day Classroom Curriculum
A structured lesson plan guiding students through the full values discovery process over five consecutive days.
Counselor's Toolkit — 7 Techniques
Values-Based Intake, Crisis Reframe, Parent–Student Bridge, and four more — one for every situation.
Get in Touch
Whether you're a reader, an educator, a counselor, or someone who just wants to know more — I'd love to hear from you.